Things that go through my head during a 3 hour conference call

-if i were popeye, i'd eat a can of spinach and smash my phone
-three Punic Wars?
-if it were allowed, i'd all ready have 3 beers in me at work
-why do stupid people use the speakerphone when they are sitting in a public area
-if i were made of rubber, i'd wrap my arm around my neck and hang myself right now....

Sopranos Ending

Let's just say Sopranos ends and T really is the salesman from last season.

I will:

1. Throw the TV out the window.
2. Stop calling myself a writer.
3. Leave NJ
4. Never eat pasta and gravy again.
5. Pull out my chest hair.

The Pitch-Striking Distance

Here's the story: Rogue cop on the trail of a serial killer

Sounds like Dirty Harry.

This one is different: new character, new city.

What city?

Wait for it.....wait for it.....Pittsburgh.

Pittsburgh? Christ. Dirty Harry in Pittsburgh?

No, he is a cop on boat.

Pittsburgh isn't on the ocean.

Pittsburgh is on a river. Three Rivers in fact.

Does he have a partner?

A woman.

Tyne Daily?

No, the chick from square pegs.

Genius, where do i sign?

The Third Man Musical

Some of the songs that I am working on:

Mind if I use that line in my next Western?

30 years under the Borgias

Cheap Novelettes

My Morning at Work

I have vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals.

Tags I never use

Gorilla ice cream
Hitler's Birthday Party
I feel younger today
NBA
happy to be at work
free paris

Sometimes I feel like a third man dancing

"I never knew the old Vienna before the war with its Strauss music, its glamour and easy charm. Constantinople suited me better. I really got to know it in the classic period of the black market. We'd run anything if people wanted it enough and whom had the money to pay. Of course a situation like that does tempt amateurs but, well, umm, you know they can't stay the course like a professional."

Location shots in Vienna

The Printer

There is a person at work who likes to stand close to printer while it is working. They claim to hear the letters hitting the page-much like an old typewriter. I suppose this is possible, but then again this person wears sunglasses at work all day long-so THEY can't read her thoughts.

How to End a Film 101

Against War

Speaking of David Niven, he once said that he would never work with Rex Harrison. He claimed it was because Harrison was a pacifist during the war, but I think it had something to do with Harrison's penchant for late night golfing-if you know what i mean

Sonorous

According to Wikipedia, Ronald Colman successfully made the transition to "talkies" because of his elegant and sonorous speaking voice. I am told not to believe everything on Wikipedia, but i believe this because i have seen Prisoner of Zenda 12 times and his voice is indeed sonorous. But so is David Niven's.

Do Jon

If I owned a house with a backyard, I'd build a bamboo fence around it. In the backyard I would train a force of martial arts warriors in something the people from Burma call a do-jon. They would be really proficient with metal stars. This army would be mine, but I wouldn't use them to hurt people. But it would be still cool to have.

Fame

Basil Rathbone said the pursuit of fame was as empty as making love to a $2 whore. If he were still alive today, I suspect we would have seen him on Extra touting a new workout. He was like that.

One evening I stepped through a dream and into my grandparent's backyard that sat on an extension of water from Barnegat Bay. It was roped off like a municipal swimming pool and boats moved through swimmer's lanes. Without transition, I moved to one of these boats-strangely, not the one my grandparents had tied to their dock and as I took the helm we reached the end of the water, where the arm grew narrow-like at the wrist-and a feeling of dread and loss overcame me which we odd emtions to running out of places to go. I turned the boat sharply, cutting across the narrow lanes and I ran over three mallards.